Scribbles from the Startup Frontlines: Rejects everywhere

‍| Serge van Dam is an early stage startup investor, focused on going-global productivity software (SaaS) companies.  He spends much of his time with a bayonet in hand yelling “now” in the startup trenches.

Rejects Everywhere

TLDR: You may or may not have always been one, but you are a reject now.  Great.  Get used to it.  

The Case for Misery

Depressing as it might sound, my favourite feeling in the world is after a hard day’s tramping in the Tararua ranges - where the wind and terrain and the weight of your pack are against you - is ending up in a hut, where you can make yourself a cup of tea, on your terms.  And the tea - with two sugars in my case!!! - tastes delicious.

Much of the journey of a founder and a startup mirrors that.  Many steps on the journey are layered with some form of misery, even if the occasional wins bring a deranged form of delight (less misery!).  And much of the misery comes in the form of rejection.

Many Forms of Rejection

As social mammals, we are somehow programmed to fear rejection, even if the real world costs of it are insignificant.  I remember how many times I rang and hung up the phone trying to invite a love interest to my third-form disco.  Total paralysis.  The cause; fear of rejection (I got chicken pox, so never ended up going.  Devastating for Sian, I am sure!).

In a startup journey, rejection lurks everywhere:

• Most painfully and most evidently, in seeking investment.  EVERY founder knows how hard it is to convince people you are a bet worth making, and how many people will say NO, even to the best companies.  Melanie Perkins from Canva was formally rejected over 100 times before anyone invested in her phenomenon of a company.  It always feels personal: “what is it about me and my company that people don’t seem to like?”
• Getting professionals to join your crazy circus is not easy either.  Some founders default to approaching mediocre people they think will say “yes” rather than who they think is best suited to their world-changing idea.  Why?  Fear that their rocket ship is not one they should get into.  
• Customers - or more accurately, prospects - will say no.  Almost no one wants what you have.  If you are lucky, they might go to your website to check you out.  Even then, over 99% of people who show some interest will close their browser window without feedback or even a polite goodbye.  Ditto if you have a physical retail store or similar.  Most prospects are disinterested.
• Potential partners behave in the same way.  Worse still, many of those will waste months of your time, and steal your IP, before ignoring you.  Theirs is the worst form of rejection - they often should know better, but don’t.  Meanwhile, you sit sadly by the phone…
• In the ‘miscellaneous’ category are a plethora of other rejectors.  Everyone is waiting their turn to reject you.  It could be conference organisers who think your proposition makes no sense, media companies who feel your category is not novel (and your story dull), Government agencies, bankers, and so on.

I could go on….

Mindset as the Antidote

Perennial rejection can and does wear out those founding and leading startups.  Good!

That’s what Navy SEAL Jocko Willink would tell you.  In his book “Extreme Ownership”, he articulates the role of mindset in both attempting and achieving missions that are ‘against all odds’.  And that’s what startups are; an adventurous game at which you are not supposed to win.  

If you are interested in the statistics, failing is the most likely outcome.

It’s even harder than that.  No one will tell you, but almost everyone wants you to fail too.  Why?  Because you represent change, and change they did not ask for.  Startup founders and leadership teams invent a future (almost) no one has thought about or actually wants.

The best way out of this trench of despair is to reframe rejection.  It is what you should expect.  It is a rite of passage to succeeding in your mission.  You must change the way you react to and reflect on the rejection you suffer.

This rejection is also good for you.

Every rejection delivers a learning opportunity.  Is a feature missing in your product?  Is your value proposition emotive enough?  Are you targeting the best possible market?  Did you think deeply about the best investors for your company?

You WILL develop a thicker skin and become more resilient.  Beyond your startup, that is good for your personal relationships and the shit life will without-doubt throw your way in the years ahead.

And in due course, it will increase your conviction that you and your startup are changing the world for good.

Get used to it.  You are a reject.  Good!